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I am having difficulty finding someone that I can relate to

Nombre: Andrés
País: Colombia
Hi Martin – I am 16 years old and still in high school. I am having difficulty finding someone that I can relate to. If I don’t fall for someone straight, I fall for someone else that won’t work out. I had one relationship for 8 months with a classmate. The relationship was pretty unstable and it really hurt me when he got tired, so I decided to come out publicly, something that still has daily consequences for me. I’ve had so many arguments, even with a well-known musician who lives in my city. I’m sure you can imagine how much I want to find someone. I feel so alone sometimes until the point where I become depressed. Maybe it’s because I am influenced by my friend, who I will describe as “promiscuous”. It’s actually ridiculous because he can find a boyfriend so easily even though he isn’t that cute and he’s abusive. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I am not being social enough to attract someone or maybe it’s how I look or act? I hope you can help me out with this dilemma.

Okay, okay, OK – calm down papi. You’re only 16 years old. Do you think people are born with all the answers?

First of all, stop comparing yourself to others because it will not help you with anything. Everyone has his or her own method and their own pace depending on their life experiences. Don’t believe for a second that living life in the fast line is the key to success. It just prevents you from learning in the moment and knowing not to make the same mistake twice.

You have to leave some things for your old age... lol!

I didn’t understand some of your message. The boy you dated for 8 months – what did he get tired of? Of you or being in the closest? How did that really effect you up until today? Does it still hurt? I also didn’t understand about the musician? Yo say you had many arguments with him and because of that I should be able to understand the lengths you would go to find someone. Why does the musician relate to your quest for love?

The one thing I can say is that the less you search, the easier it is to find the perfect person for you. Many times those anxious feelings cause you to look in all the wrong places for the right one.

Much luck

Ps. Martin Alvarez / Terra USA