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I wanted to know how can you tell that someone is gay?

Name: Kasandra
Country: USA
Message: I wanted to know how can you tell that someone is gay? Is it possible that someone can love a woman and at the same time be attracted to someone of the opposite sex?

The only way to truly know if someone is gay is to ask the person yourself (not that I am recommending it unless you are related or BFF). There is actually no sure fire way to know otherwise. It is very hard to speculate about someone’s sexuality, regardless of how feminine or masculine someone appears or acts. External characteristics and behaviors do not make for objective evaluations.

Now for your second question, it is absolutely possible for someone to fall in love with anyone they wish regardless of sex. Love does not discriminate when it comes to gender and even though someone may be in love, it is absolutely normal that they may be attracted to other people throughout the course of their relationship. Of course, problems can arise in the relationship when one or the other thinks they can have their cake and eat it too.

In other words, you can’t always have everything you desire or want without consequences. Many times those who are not emotionally mature will try to satisfy every single wish or sexual attraction. These individuals usually get themselves into trouble because they don’t understand that love is not just about sexual attraction. It is also about compromise, supporting your partner, equality in the relationship, and reciprocal emotion among so many other components—topics that I discuss daily in this blog.

Best –

Ps. Martin Alvarez / Terra USA