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I am 45 and my boyfriend is 19
Name: Piotr
Country: Colombia
Message: Hi Martin - I am 45 years old and I have always held to my convictions that I would only date people that were around my own age, but then something unexpected happend to me. I met a marvelous 19 year old who walked in the path of my heart and has changed all of my theories about love and age. I would have said that a couple like ours was "bought love" but ours is not. We really understand each other regardless of all our differences. There is one thing though that I haven't been able to handle and that is what would people actually think of me. Would they think that I am taking advantage of him or vice versa? I wanted to know your opinion about a relationship like this.
There are so many different ways to look at this topic and it all depends on the person who is analyzing it. I am very happy that everything is going well right now in your relationship but even though you seem totally compatible with your boyfriend and enjoy the same pasttimes, like the same things... there are some things that you can't esape from like your super-ego that is bothering you as you mention above.
Those thoughts you are having is a product of your social inheritance, your education and the fact that you are immersed in a culture that would criticize this type of relationship (latin culture, just to mention one).
It's not easy to ignore the stereotypes we have grown up with and have shaped the way we view the world. Therefore, and thanks to those elements, I do consider love to have an "age".
To have a successful relationship with someone, love is not enough. You need other elements that create continuity in order to truly be immersed in the culture, to be with your friends just like yourself or that participate in the same social circles (school, work, your community, etc). All of these things give you a better chance that the relationship with have success. And even though the song goes, "20 years isn't anything", in this case, 26 is an entire lifetime, and almost 3 generations of difference in one's world.
For those reasons, unfortunately I do not think that a relationship like yours will not have a very prosperous future. Here the million dollar question is, what are the reasons you allowed this relationship to happen?
But don't think that the world is that rational or simple either, or that I am psychic. I would just say that you should have a very clear idea of why you are in this relationship and what your expectations are for the future. Remember, "there are two ways to wind up in disaster - ask for the impossible or deny the inevitable".
Good Luck!
Ps. Martin Alvarez / Terra USA
